Now that you have an outline or idea of what you want to write, you can begin writing your draft. Your writing should be organized, developed, accurate, and original. It is always important to develop your ideas with accurate details, but in a persuasive essay, it is especially important that your development and ideas are organized in a logical way. You will need good cohesion for your reader to best understand your opinion and support that opinion.
Cohesion is when the ideas in writing logically flow from one idea to the next idea. Writing paragraphs that have good sequencing will help your readers understand your ideas more clearly. Sometimes you will have a clear order that relates to time. Sometimes you will have an order from least important or impactful to most important or impactful. Sometimes the order is more flexible and there is not one perfect way to sequence the sentences.
Cohesion may happen at the sentence, paragraph, or essay level. You will need cohesion between parts of a sentence, between sentences in a paragraph, and between paragraphs in an essay. Compare the examples of paragraph-level cohesion below. The first paragraph has poor cohesion. Some details may seem to suddenly appear or the ideas may seem to jump around.
Example: Body Paragraph (Poor Cohesion)
Then, giving felons the right to vote is one way they can be reintegrated to society. Felons paid their sentences, and they can come back to live in society. So, they can have the same life as a person who did not commit any crime. Giving them the right to vote can demonstrate how they can be responsible for some actions that will impact their lives. Based on ex-governor McAuliffe “public support for giving ex-felons the right to vote after prison is significant” (2007). In this way, ex-felons can express their opinion, and they can represent themselves in their nation’s politics.
Example: Body Paragraph (Revised for Cohesion)
One way to help reintegrate felons into society is to give them the right to vote. After felons have paid their sentences, they can come back to live in society. So, they can now have the same life as a person who did not commit any crime. Giving them the right to vote can demonstrate how they can be responsible for some actions that will impact their lives. Ex-governor of Virginia, Terry McAuliffe, expressed the importance of this by saying, “public support for giving ex-felons the right to vote after prison is significant” (2007). In this way, ex-felons can express their opinion, and they can represent themselves in their nation’s politics. They may also feel an increased responsibility to uphold the laws if they are given a political voice.
Cohesion throughout Your Essay
To write with cohesion, you will need to write with 'logical flow'. However, 'logical flow' may be different by culture. In American-style academic essays, the flow of an argument is very direct. It is like a straight river from point A to point B. There are no bends or deviations. Maybe the river is long; it might be from point A to point Z, but it will still flow directly. This can be seen at the essay level getting from the introduction ideas to the conclusion ideas, or it can be seen at the paragraph level going from the topic sentence to the concluding sentence. It can also be seen at the sentence level going from one idea in a word, phrase, or clause to the next idea in a word, phrase or clause.
Logical Flow
Image: 2022 Barraza
Here you can see two paragraphs as rivers.
The first paragraph has clear cohesion between all the sentences. The idea that ends the sentence starts the next one as shown with the arrows. Where help understanding the connection is needed a cohesive device is used as shown with the boxed words. There is even cohesion with what would be other paragraphs because "one reason" implies that the other body paragraphs will look at other reasons public transportation is good.
The second version of the paragraph has all the same sentences as the first, but it also has two extra sentences, B1 and C1. These sentences seem a little connected with the topics of the previous sentences; they talk about dollars and gas. However, they don't really connect with the sentence that follows after them. So the reader may be confused why the writer went in a different direction for a while if it didn't really help the main idea of the paragraph.
There is also one last pattern of poor cohesion that is not shown in this image which is when the paragraph goes completely off-topic. For example, if the paragraph started talking about conversion rates between the dollar and the Euro and then what factors contribute to that and how the Euro compares to the Yen and so on. This leaves the main idea behind and is like a separate river splitting off to go in a different direction.
For an American-style academic essay, try to keep the river of thought flowing directly to the conclusion.
Let's look at how sentences might have cohesion with one another.
Example Using Sequencing
1) Sentence 1 = idea A then idea B. All parents should be required to take parenting classes.
2) Sentence 2 = idea B then idea C. Parenting classes expose parents to productive parenting techniques.
3) Sentence 3 = idea C then idea D. Productive parenting helps children grow up in a healthy environment.
Notice how the idea that finishes one sentence starts the next sentence. If we were to take out sentence 2 and just say "All parents should be required to take parenting classes. Productive parenting helps children grow up in a healthy environment.", the reader might infer the connection between the two sentences. However, the sentences in this example are simple sentences with simple ideas. With longer more complex sentences containing many ideas, your reader might not be able to infer the connection and would just be confused. It would seem like you jumped from one idea to a completely unrelated idea.
The sentences connect through the order or sequencing of ideas. The B idea of the first sentence is repeated or referenced in some way at the start of the next sentence to show how the ideas are connected. If an idea isn’t repeated or the next sentence is just idea C, then a cohesive device (word or phrase such as those from the list below) is needed to show how the ideas connect.
Example with Cohesive Device
1) Sentence 1 = idea A then idea B. All parents should be required to take parenting classes.
2) Sentence 2 = idea C. Through this, parents will be exposed to productive parenting techniques.
3) Sentence 3 = idea C then idea D. Productive parenting helps children grow up in a healthy environment.
In this version, there is no repeat or reference to idea B, so a cohesive device is needed. While students often think cohesive devices can only be adverbs or subordinating conjunctions, there are also many other possibilities such as the demonstrative pronoun "this" used in this sentence. "this" shows that the experience being talked about in sentence 2 is the same experience, studying abroad, from sentence 1. This shows the connection between the ideas of sentence 1 and the ideas of sentence 2. The preposition "through" also helps to explain what exactly the relationship is between learning new perspectives and the experience.
For more information about cohesive devices, see "Cohesive Devices" at the end of this section.
Cohesive Devices
One way to improve the cohesion of your writing is by using cohesive devices properly. There are many types of cohesive devices: pronouns, adjectives, determiners, prepositions, conjunctions, repeated words, transition words, etc.
Some cohesive devices show certain relationships between ideas, like showing contrast or a cause/ effect relationship.
| Showing Addition | |
| Another | Another reason to eat bananas is because it is a good source of potassium. |
| Also | Bananas are also a good source of potassium. |
| Besides | Besides being high in fiber, bananas are a good source of potassium. |
| In addition | In addition to being high in fiber, bananas are a good source of potassium. |
| First, second, etc. | Second, bananas are a good source of potassium. |
| | |
| Showing Similarity | |
| Both | The two universities share both a strong reputation and student demographic. |
| Likewise | The two universities share a strong reputation. Likewise, they share a similar student demographic.
|
| Similarly | The two universities share a strong reputation. Similarly, they share a similar student demographic. |
| | |
| Showing Contrast | |
| However | Apple computers run on an iOS system. However, Microsoft computers don't. |
| | |
| In contrast | Apple computers run on an iOS system. In contrast, Microsoft computers don't. |
| On the other hand | Apple computers run on an iOS system. On the other hand, Microsoft computers don't. |
| Whereas | Whereas Apple computers run on an iOS system, Microsoft computers don't. |
| Yet | Apple computers run on an iOS system, yet Microsoft computers don't. |
| | |
| Show Cause/Effect | |
| Thus | Perfectionist tendencies adds unnecessary stress, thus making tasks more difficult to complete. |
| As a consequence | Perfectionist tendencies adds unnecessary stress. As a consequence, tasks become more difficult to complete. |
| Therefore | Perfectionist tendencies adds unnecessary stress. Therefore, tasks become more difficult to complete. |
| As a result | Perfectionist tendencies adds unnecessary stress. As a result, tasks become more difficult to complete. |
| Consequently | Perfectionist tendencies adds unnecessary stress. Consequently, tasks become more difficult to complete. |
| | |
| Giving Examples | |
| An example of | Martial arts training is an example of exercise that strengthens you physically and mentally. |
| For instance | Many exercises strengthen you physically and mentally. For instance, martial arts training is an exercise that improves muscle tone and personal discipline. |
| To illustrate | Many exercises strengthen you physically and mentally. To illustrate, consider how your muscles are toned and you develop personal discipline when you do exercises like martial arts training. |
Exercises
Exercise 1: Identify logical order of sentences
Each of these sentences combine to make a paragraph. On a piece of paper, write a number for each sentence A-E to show a logical order for sequencing the supporting sentences.
Topic Sentence: Robots are becoming more advanced with advances in technology.
- NASA has robots in space that "are performing tasks with sub-millimeter precision" (National Aeronautics and Space Administration, 2015, para. 3).
- Today's robots are very powerful.
- On the other hand, the robots of twenty years ago were not able to do as much or make such exact movements.
- In addition to being powerful, today's robots are also very precise.
- Robots in the United Kingdom, for example, were strong enough to harvest five tons of barley from a farm run by robots last year (Pultarova, 2017).
Conclusion Sentence: With the amazing advances we have seen recently, it is very likely that robots will continue to improve and become capable of doing even more.
Order: _____ _____ _____ _____ _____
Exercise 2: Insert a sentence
The underlined numbers represent places that the bolded sentence could be inserted into the paragraph. Choose the most logical place to insert the bolded sentence below.
Even though all people have different lives and circumstances, stress is universal because it has so many different causes.
1 Everyone experiences stress. 2 Some of these causes include health, relationships, life changes, and conflicts between your beliefs and your values ("Causes of Stress," 2018). 3 Regardless of the cause, everyone should understand stress because they will have to know how to handle it. 4
Exercise 3: Identify misplaced sentences
Read the original paragraph. Identify the sentences that seem to be out of place. Then compare the original to the revised version.
Original:
The skin is one of the most important lines of protection that the human body has against infection. If a germ makes it past the skin, the body has several mechanisms in place to destroy it. For example, the body uses white blood cells to find and destroy germs that enter the body ("Components of the Immune System," 2015). These mechanisms don't always work quickly enough to prevent people from becoming sick, but they do begin fighting the bacteria or virus and help people recover. In order to become infected, either bacteria or viruses have to enter the body. The skin prevents this from happening most of the time, as we encounter thousands—if not millions—of germs every day. Thus, the skin is one of the best ways to protect the body from germs because it blocks the majority of them.
Revision:
The skin is one of the most important lines of protection that the human body has against infection. In order to become infected, either bacteria or viruses have to enter the body. The skin prevents this from happening most of the time, as we encounter thousands—if not millions—of germs every day. If a germ makes it past the skin, the body has several mechanisms in place to destroy it. For example, the body uses white blood cells to find and destroy germs that enter the body ("Components of the Immune System," 2015). These mechanisms don't always work quickly enough to prevent people from becoming sick, but they do begin fighting the bacteria or virus and help people recover. Thus, the skin is one of the best ways to protect the body from germs because it blocks the majority of them.
Exercise 4: Revise for cohesion
Revise the paragraph for cohesion. This is the second body paragraph from an essay about languages spoken in the Caribbean.
The languages spoken in Haiti and the Dominican Republic are one evidence of their distinct cultures. On one side of the island, they speak French, while on the other side they speak Spanish. Interestingly, both of these languages were imported, and they are both "...the result of centuries of European colonization and numerous power struggles" (Silver, 2010, para. 3). The indigenous people of the island originally spoke Taino. However, France and Spain both established colonies, bringing their languages with them. There are a few words of Taino that remained in Spanish like huracán (tornado) and maíz (corn) (Reichard, 2017). Due to these new influences, most of the native Taino language was conquered. Both sides of the island are certainly distinct because they now have different languages.
Exercise 5: Identify Connectors
- The following research comes from an article by Peri (2018). If you wanted to include all of this research in a body paragraph, what kind of cohesive device could you use? Write the type(s) of cohesive device on the line below.
- Sleep plays a critical role in thinking and learning.
- Lack of sleep impairs attention, alertness, concentration, reasoning, and problem solving.
- Various sleep cycles play a role in "consolidating" memories in the mind.
- If you don't get enough sleep, you won't be able to remember what you learned.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
- The following research comes from an article by DiSalvo (2017). If you wanted to include all of this research in a body paragraph, what kind of cohesive device could you use? Write the type(s) of cohesive device on the line below.
- Controlling your breathing calms your
- Breathing regulates your blood
- Counting breaths taps into the brain's emotional control regions.
- The rhythm of your breathing affects
- Controlled breathing may boost the immune
_______________________________________________________________________________________
- The following research comes from an article by Jacobs (2017). If you wanted to include all of this research in a body paragraph, what kind of cohesive devices could you use? Write the type(s) of cohesive device on the line below.
- To give someone a business card, a Japanese business person will hold the card with two hands as she passes the card to the costumer. The card should be studied and discussed as part of the conversation.
- When an American business person passes a business card to another person, they do not hold it with two hands, and they may not even have a card with them. Many millennials prefer to have business contacts go to their LinkedIn Failure to present a business card is not offensive in American culture.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Exercise 6: Draft a body paragraph
Fill in between the sources with your own commentary to draft a body paragraph about why animals shouldn't be used in commercial and scientific testing. Use cohesive devices to connect your commentary to the ideas in each source.
TS: Using animals as test subjects has been a long standing tradition, but is in need of modern reconsideration.
“We can protect human health and the environment by using cutting-edge, ethically sound science in our decision-making that efficiently and cost-effectively evaluates potential effects without animal testing” (Wheeler, A. (2019). Directive to Prioritize Efforts to Reduce Animal Testing. Memo. fda.gov)
“Not only are animals poor models of safety for humans, but they are also unreliable for demonstrating the effectiveness of treatments too. Just as many drugs fail in clinical trials because they turn out to cause side-effects in humans, many others turn out to be ineffective in humans, despite performing well in animals. This makes drug development extraordinarily expensive because companies need to recoup the costs of clinical trials not only for successful drugs, but also for the nine others that fail for each one that succeeds" (Archibald, K. (2016). Of Mice but Not Men. In McTaggart L., What Doctors Don’t Tell You. Thorsons Publishers).
"Scientists use animals in biological and medical research more as a matter of tradition, not because animal research has proved particularly successful or better than other modes of experimentation. In fact, animal ‘models’ have never been validated, and the claim that animals are necessary for biomedical research is unsupported by the scientific literature. Instead, there is growing awareness of the limitations of animal research and its inability to make reliable predictions about human health" (The American Anti-Vivisection Society (AAVS) (2013, October 23). Problems with Animal Research. Retrieved from https://aavs.org/animals-science/problems-animal-research/
Exercise 7: Write a body paragraph
Use this quote to write a paraphrase or a summary for a body paragraph about recycling.
"Recycling is the process of collecting and processing materials that would otherwise be thrown away as trash and turning them into new products. Recycling can benefit your community and the environment."
"Benefits of Recycling:
- Reduces the amount of waste sent to landfills and combustion facilities
- Conserves natural resources such as timber, water, and minerals
- Prevents pollution by reducing the need to collect new raw materials
- Saves energy
- Reduces greenhouse gas emissions that contribute to global climate change
- Helps sustain the environment for future generations
- Helps create new well-paying jobs in the recycling and manufacturing industries in the United States" (EPA, 2017, 1-2)