Writing is developed when the ideas are explained in sufficient detail. You need to show that you have thought about the topic and that you have something meaningful to say. Paragraphs that lack development often sound too general or are redundant.
Compare the examples below. The first body paragraph is not developed well. The ideas are repeated without adding specific report. Find the supporting sentences in the revised version that help develop the ideas.
Example: Paragraph (Lacks Development)
An excellent school has adequate facilities. Classrooms should be able to support all students with more space and comfort. If the classrooms have bigger spaces, then the students will be comfortable.
Example: Paragraph (Better Development)
An excellent school has adequate facilities. These facilities include classrooms, offices, and study spaces. Classrooms are an essential part of the facilities because students spend so much time there. In an excellent school, classrooms are able to support all students by having a large space and being comfortable. The large space of the room gives each student plenty of room for their desk and to move around without encroaching on a classmate’s space. The lighting and general feel of the classroom are also comfortable and a definite advantage for students’ learning. Research has shown that when people are studying in an excellent school, they will be more likely to have more knowledge and preparation than others. A large part of these results are due to the structure that is created by excellent schools.
You can revise a paragraph that lacks development by adding supporting sentences. Supporting sentences can give examples, explanations, details, descriptions, facts, reasons, etc. Which types of supporting sentences you use will depend on your topic.
You can start revising a paragraph by asking questions about the topic sentence (or the other supporting sentences). Ask questions like "Why?" "Like what?" and "How?" The answers to these questions can give you ideas to include that will develop your paragraph.
The first example paragraph had poor development because the ideas stopped too soon. The writer said that an excellent school has structure.
The revised body paragraph with better development also stated that an excellent school has structure, but it did not stop too soon. It gave lots of examples and relevant details.
In order to revise the paragraph, the author might have asked questions like this:
Example Questions
- Why are classrooms a facility of an excellent school?
- Because they are the place where students do a majority of their learning.
- What facilities are needed?
- These facilities include classrooms, offices, and study spaces.
- Why should classrooms have these features?
- If a classroom does not have the right atmosphere, then students may struggle.
Sometimes paragraphs that lack development have the length of a developed paragraph, but don't clearly develop an idea because the writer was trying to sound elegant or add extra words to make a paragraph longer. Good development is not the same thing as length. You need to focus on supporting your ideas rather than making your sentences long. Compare the following paragraphs. Even though the second paragraph is a little shorter, the paragraph is more developed.
Example: Paragraph (Redundant)
An excellent school has adequate facilities. These facilities include classrooms, offices, and study spaces. Classrooms are an essential part of the facilities because students spend so much time there. Students learn in classrooms. In an excellent school, classrooms are able to support all students by having a large space and being comfortable. The large space of the room gives each student plenty of room for their desk and to move around without encroaching on a classmate’s space. It helps students feel like they have their own place to learn. They need space so they don’t feel crowded. The lighting and general feel of the classroom are also comfortable and a definite advantage for students’ learning. Research has shown that when people are studying in an excellent school, they will be more likely to have more knowledge and preparation than others. A large part of these results are due to the structure that is created by excellent schools.
Example: Paragraph (Better Development)
An excellent school has adequate facilities. These facilities include classrooms, offices, and study spaces. Classrooms are an essential part of the facilities because students spend so much time there. Students learn in classrooms. In an excellent school, classrooms are able to support all students by having a large space and being comfortable. The large space of the room gives each student plenty of room for their desk and to move around without encroaching on a classmate’s space. It helps students feel like they have their own place to learn. They need space so they don’t feel crowded. The lighting and general feel of the classroom are also comfortable and a definite advantage for students’ learning. Research has shown that when people are studying in an excellent school, they will be more likely to have more knowledge and preparation than others. A large part of these results are due to the structure that is created by excellent schools.
1 EXERCISE: Evaluate development
Read the paragraphs. Are the paragraphs well-developed? Why or why not? With a partner, make any necessary changes or additions to each paragraph.
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